Captain Collins

Is the Collins Congressional office apparatus set up like the USS Enterprise? Maybe more like the Sea Org? Either way, Collins has a penchant for golf shirts – he famously sold them to county workers when he was County Executive, and encouraged teambuilding and other managementspeak by emblazoning them with the county seal and a Six Sigma logo.

America doesn’t do peerages, so Collins bought himself the next best thing – a Congressional seat, and dammit he’s the captain of that ship. He’s got the stripes to prove it.

Is it just an Adidas ad, or does it designate rank?

I can only assume that Grant and Loomis have similar white and red golf shirts with two stripes. Interns and lower-level staffers get one. It’s good to know your place.

HT DWICollins and Tom Dolina for the “FailBoat” image.


  • You can tell it’s a REALLY slow news day.
    Or perhaps a really bad news day for liberals (al Qaeda has all our embassies on the run, Barry lied about not snooping on citizens …) so we decided to post at length about the stripes on Collins’s shirt.

    • You should REALLY take a peek at the post tags.

      And REALLY? You want to talk about Snowden and the NSA? REALLY you want to go there? And REALLY, you think it’s a “bad day for liberals” when terrorists threaten embassies? Give me a fucking break and read the goddamn post before spouting off nonsense.

      • If you make “Read the post before saying something stupid” the new standard, that’ll basically forbid him from commenting ever again, since his entire schtick consists of just cutting and posting whatever FOX News’s talking points of the day happen to be.

        • Who died and appointed you the arbiter of what’s pertinent or what’s not? If you tried that stuff down here you’d get the brakes beat off of you. I don’t know who the hell you think YOU are, but all you seem to do is spout the Obama/Huffpo/MSNBC talking points so what makes you better than Mr. Hamlin I’ve no clue,. but you do have that phony air of liberal superiority about you…..doesn’t smell good.

          • I didn’t die, but I appointed Kelly the arbiter of what’s pertinent or not.

          • You’re still alive? That’s a shame.

          • Jeez, all this over a blog making fun of someone’s shirt?
            I know it is not as funny as all those racist Tea Party depictions of Obama that make him look like a pimp, or maybe like Hitler, but it was still pretty damn funny.

      • Yes, let’s go there! Chris Collins is slime, and let’s thank the Daily Kos for compiling his horrors through 2011: And let’s update it.

        But yes, let’s also talk about Snowden and the NSA and BHO’s spies monitoring Americans’ messages overseas. Unsurprisingly, the Fourth Amendment doesn’t contain an “except for messages to furriners” clause. As a thought experiment, pretend it’s W or Mitt Romney doing it. Another dastardly Republican attack on our constitutional rights!

        The enemy (BHO) of my enemies (WBEN and Tea Party racists) isn’t necessarily my friend.

        • Well, I’m not concerned about the NSA, because they’d need a reason and a warrant to look at my emails or listen to my phone calls, and since I’m not planning any terrorism, I doubt they’d waste their time with me.

          As for Collins, I don’t need to read Daily Kos, as I’ve compiled the superlative retrospective on Chris Collins right here.

          • Absolutely amazing how thin the line is between an Obama Liberal and a Bush Conservative: “If you’re not doing anything wrong, why are you worrying about being monitored? Sounds a little suspicious to me.”

            And your suggestion that they need a warrant to “look at” your emails or “listen to” your phone calls is disingenuous: really, I know it’s VITAL to the national interest to defend Obama at all costs, including repeating his talking points, but it’s time to work up some new strategies. US intelligence is scooping up those emails and calls; it can look at identifying information without a warrant; it can look and listen without a warrant if one leg or the other of the emails or calls is overseas. And it requires a leap of faith to think that the US government would not violate oversight demands–really, there’s so much precedent for this that, unless Obama and his security state are Jesus and the Apostles, we should at least avoid pronouncing on their probity.

          • Yes, some people think they have an expectation of privacy in their call / email metadata. I don’t think you reasonably have any such expectation.

          • More specifically, a warrant issued by a secret court that rubber stamps virtually every request it reviews. Phew, I feel like my privacy is intact.

        • Dont worry, Alan isn’t planning any terrorism so the NSA can do whatever it wants.

      • You don’t think it’s slightly embarrassing for Barry to have him proven so wrong in his campaign boast made November 5, 2012–“Bin Laden is dead, and al Qaeda is on the run”? A boast he and Hillary and Susan Rice went to such great lengths to justify when they called Benghazi a noisy You-Tube protest?
        And it’s not just a bit off-putting to have his statement to Jay Leno contradicted the very next day? You know–“There’s no spying on Americans” (turns out they do).
        But go ahead and unload on Chris Collins for having a shirt with stripes. The only thing you missed is whether that’s grounds for impeachment.

        • There’s spying on Americans with a warrant or when the communication is not wholly domestic and there’s a reason to spy.

          Al Qaeda made threats. I haven’t seen anything actually happen. Anyone can call in a bomb threat, you know? And thanks for reminding me that it took Kenyan Barry to do what Cowboy W couldn’t – and wouldn’t – do.

          Leno!? I’m still continent of urine and bowel, so I don’t watch Leno.

          So, yeah, I will joke about Collins having a fucking Captain Crunch shirt because it’s funny.

    • I really would like know know why Alan is obsessed with Chris.

      So, yeah, I will joke about Collins having a fucking Captain Crunch shirt because it’s funny.”

      After a while it’s creepy. Why don’t you trade in that horse costume that was used during Carl’s campaign run for a Captain Crunch costume and follow Chris around. NOW that would be funny. 😉

      • You (a) seem obsessed with linking me with a stunt that I had literally nothing to do with; and (b) have no sense of humor. My “obsession” with Chris Collins has to do with the fact that he is my congressman and a horrible person and worse politician. Every fiber of his being is dedicated to helping people like him at the expense of people like you and me. If you’re fine with that, so be it. I am not, but if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s people whining about things that are interesting to ME. If they are not interesting to YOU, then you ought to likely stay away, right? That’s the solution, rather than bitching to me about how “creepy” I am. It would seem to me to be an utter waste of one’s time – creepy, in fact.

        • You had loads to do with it. Don’t even go done that road.

          Your own comment “At the expense of people like you and I”

          You don’t seem to have a problem with democratic elected officials doing a whole bunch of crap at the expense of you and I but in Collins case it is different? Why is that? I don’t want Obama care because of the EXPENSE to you and I.

          • 1. I had nothing to do with it. Road, done.

            2. You have not provided a complete sentence or coherent proposition.

            3. Oh, boo hoo. You don’t want “Obama care” because you don’t believe people in a civilized society should have a right to health insurance and access to health care.

          • Horace Hornee-Horse

            I can state, without hesitation, that Alan had nothing to do with my campaign for NYS Governor or my dealings with Car Paladino. Carl brought this on himself when he forwarded a racy email I sent (for his eyes only) to his friends. Sure, my meth-addicted human girlfriend was doing some hanky-panky with me, but we both figured it would give ole’ Carl a good laugh to see the footage. But he crossed the line!

            Now, I think Chris Collins is a douchebag and all, but he has never exhibited any signs of liking bestiality horse porn.

            Take your horse blinders off, wnyresident!

      • The only thing CREEPY is Chris Collins and his policies!!!

        Collins is STILL relevant, especially in Buffalo where his politics screwed lots of families, and some of his Democratic friends (who helped him when he was County Executive) are running for office RIGHT NOW.

        It is ABSOLUTELY appropriate to continue to keep the pressure on this diabolical madman Collins, especially with his policies getting even MORE extreme. Just look at his comments on healthcare, recently.

        WNYrevisionist – your bullshit may fly on SPEAKUP, where you kick people off posting if they become too supportive of the Democratic side, but THANKFULLY your horse shit does not fly here because you have NO CONTROL!!!! That ALWAYS bothers people like you, Ha Ha Ha!!!

        I’m sure you would agree that those stripes are creepy, however.


  • Are these shirts purchased with taxpayer dollars? Where are they made? After all, the Repugs ARE the party of the flag pin and the elimination of waste.

    • disqus_g6fqjyhj09

      Those are definitely adidas polos, I couldn’t tell you where those were made but it probably wasn’t in the U.S. You’d think it would be pretty easy to find a U.S. manufacturer for that, but what would you expect from a guy who’s own products he sells are made in China.

  • The only stripes this fool should have are prison stripes, for all the damage he wrought upon people during his time holding office. Collins could be joined in prison stripes by his co-conspirators: Barbara Miller-Williams, Tim Kennedy, Steve Pigeon, Jack O’Donnell, Maurice Garner, and Miller-Williams’ patronage hack Andrew Kulyk. Like Somali pirates, these political vultures could case less who they hurt or destroy in their un-quenchable lust for power and money.

  • I’m looking forward to today’s installment of “Don Esmonde is an Ass”. Will it be published soon?

  • So much rancor over kind of a dumb post. Collins is a dickhole but who cares if he has stripes on his shirt? On the other hand, an attempt at humor leads to – Yeah? But what about the NSA , Barry, blah, blah, blah. So childish.

  • If only Chris Collins — or any elected official — would espouse the values of peace, self-improvement, non-interference in the affairs of other cultures, equality among individuals and nations and advancement of knowledge that Starfleet personnel swear to uphold.

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