Oklahoma, Where the Lead Comes Sweepin’ Down the Plain

Three responsible gun owners from Oklahoma decided to go on a responsible killing spree, responsibly picking out and murdering a budding Australian baseball prodigy for the “fun of it”.

“He apparently was jogging,” Danny Ford, chief of the Duncan, Oklahoma Police Department, said. “He went by a residence where these three boys were, they picked him as a target, they went out and got in a vehicle and followed him. Came up from behind and basically shot him in the back with a small caliber weapon, then sped away.”

It is important that teenagers have the fundamental and God-given Constitutional human right to own and possess guns so that they could responsibly combat the tyranny of jogging passers-by. People need to be vigilant when minding their own business (something not enumerated in the Constitution and, therefore, not at all a basic human right), and yield at all times to the gun-wielding Constitutional scholar-cum-lunatic who has the fundamental right as a well-regulated militiaman to gun down people at random at any time.

The government goons have now arrested these three brave joggerphile patriots and will put them on trial for exercising their 2nd Amendment right to shoot people.

Remember: an armed society is a polite society. Liberty!