Dennis the Assemblyman

(Sung (more or less) to the tune of Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

You know Cole and Fossella, Lopez, and Chris Lee,

Spitzer and Massa and Weiner – those three!

But can you believe,

the skeeziest claims come to be? 

 

Dennis the Cheektowagan,

has a very cushy job.

He hires pretty women,

and jokes around about his knob. 

 

Dennis’ young accusers,

say that he’s a pre-da-tor.

One says his office camera,

stored photos that he took of whores!

 

He told one girl that he likes butts, 

and asked her to sleep over. 

Invited one for a “massage”,

as per the court disclosure.

 

All of the Cheektowagans

used to throw their votes to him.

Now they won’t vote for Dennis,

everything is pretty grim. 

 

Three twenty-somethings lawyered up,

their claims will make you groan.

One was sent a video 

showing Dennis getting blown!

 

Dennis the Cheektowagan, 

said to one girl, “may I please fuck you”? 

Now he’s a statewide story,

his Albany career is through!